HOW TO DISCERN

Mark Mastin, SCJ

As Catholics, we believe that through our baptism God calls each one of us to love and serve God and God’s people. Some are called to live the life of the married vocation, while others are called to the vocation of being a religious, as a priest, brother, deacon or sister. As St. Paul tells us in his first letter to the Corinthians: There are many different gifts, but it is always the same Lord. There are many different forms of activity, but in everybody it is the same God who is at work in them all. (12:4-6) God calls us to make a difference in the world and in the Church and to use our gifts in service of others, but not everyone is called to become a priest or religious brother.

When trying to find out if you are called to religious life, there are many discernment questions that you must ask yourself to see if perhaps are indeed called to make the first step. Discernment should be a slow process through which you take small steps. This requires patience and not something to be rushed. So, in order to help you discern this process, I have listed below some questions for you to reflect upon.

Here are those suggested spiritual and practical ways to think about and become engaged into this discernment process:

• Knowing the meaning of a religious vocation: This may appear to be an easy answer but many people do not fully understand its spiritual and life long meaning. The word "vocation" comes from the Latin vocare (verb to call). In life, a person can be called to a vocation of married life or a vocation to serving the church as a religious sister, priest, brother, deacon or as a lay person. All vocations in life are considered sacred, holy and a grace filled gift from God.

Specifically, a religious vocation is a response to and state of life that one arrives at from a careful and prayerful discernment process from which one was listening to the inner voice and feeling that was drawing her or him to a formal ministerial career of serving God and the church as a lifetime ministry.

Once individuals freely choose to commit themselves to religious life, such persons do so ceremonially and officially by professing and taking perpetual vows of obedience, poverty and chastity or celibacy. In general, they also make a commitment to live in community together and share their prayer life and material things in common.

In other words, through the actions of the Holy Spirit, such people feel divinely called by God to serve the church as a sister, priest, brother, or deacon in a ministerial capacity for their entire lives. Such women and men will remain single and not marry but will dedicate their lives in a singular fashion to and for God’s people. Therefore, those who have a religious vocation do not look upon the work that they perform as a job but rather as a lifelong ministry to God’s people by actively sharing and participating with them the Christian Gospel message of love, justice and peace throughout the world.

Are you being called? Here are some ways to reflect upon or discern this question:

• Pray, talk, and listen often. Part of the discernment process is praying to God over a long period of days and months—this is not an overnight process. When you pray, you must find quiet time alone with God—no music, iPods, and cell phones, etc.—no outside distractions. Do this daily for some time period—It does not have to be hours but good quality time alone. Be aware of God being with you. Speak to Jesus about your feelings regarding serving the church in a deep and formal way as a religious. Be lead by Jesus in the direction he wants to lead you towards. When you are done speaking, be quiet and silent and listen with your whole mind, heart, and feelings. What thoughts, emotions and feelings do you have? What are your gut feelings telling you? Are you at peace with this listening and response—if there is a response? What are you yearning for deep within your heart?

• Having the right stuff. Outside of your private pray time with Jesus, you can also ponder on what qualities that are needed to be a religious and how you may match up with them. As said earlier, having a vocation to religious life is a gift and call from God. Here are some questions to ponder in your discernment process. These questions are not to be thought of as some test that will determine a pass or fail grade for joining a religious community. And, they are not meant to be an exhaustive listing of questions. However, these questions may help you understand the dynamics of one’s human nature as one participates in community life and serving the church:
  • How have I experienced God’s love in my life?
  • Do I have a good, continuous, and prayerful relationship with God? Do I practice my faith regularly? In private and at church? Do others recognize such prayerfulness and God’s presence within me? Do I feel sustained and invigorated by this relationship? Do I want to share this feeling with others?
  • Do I get excited about sharing God’s words, sacramental life and love?
  • Do I have nagging thoughts about serving people and joining a religious community?
  • Do I work well with men and women of all ages and backgrounds and appreciate the gifts that they have?
  • Am I willing to follow, as well as lead?
  • Can I give up my material possessions and selfish ways to serve God and the Church?
  • Am I sociable, and have healthy friendships with men and women?
  • Do I like myself and have healthy and positive viewpoints about myself?
  • Do I enjoy life?
  • Do I long to serve people in a loving and caring manner? Can I dedicate my life to God’s people?
  • Am I energized when I help out in some type of ministry around my parish or local community?
  • Am I a positive or negative person?
  • How is my physical, emotional and mental health? Can I take on the rigors of religious life?
  • Can I live a life of obedience, poverty, chastity or celibacy? Am I beyond the age or attitude in which I cannot be obedient and open to authority in community life?
  • Can I live with others in community?
  • What gifts and talents do I bring to this community and to the church?

In the end, remember that no matter what, God loves us and calls each of us to serve in some capacity in the church and in the world.

• Speak, share and confide in others. Talking with other trusted people about our vocation desires and fears is of equal importance in the discernment process. We need the human element to be involved in our discernment process. You cannot act like the “lone ranger.” Seeking out others will not only help relieve you of your potential anxiety when discerning, but it will also help give you feedback, as well as encouragement. Therefore, go to a good and close friend, parent, teacher, pastor, priest, religious sister or brother, vocation director, spiritual director or someone that you trust to share your deepest thoughts about having a religious vocation.
• Act and trust God. Take a leap of faith for the next step. Now that you have prayed and worked through this discernment process over some length of time, the moment is here for you to act upon those positive thoughts and feelings that are drawing you toward religious life. The nagging is over. Trust God. If you still feel moved and called by God to serve as a religious, then you need to call upon the vocation director. Make a “Come and See Weekend” visit to see if this community and religious life is the right fit of you and vice versa. When you do so, ask yourself the question: Do I feel at home here?